[ A MOTIVATIONAL ESSAY ]

So you wanna be a horror host? That's wonderful! You're young and eager for the challenge? Great! Now, you get to knock out that mid-life crisis early!

Just kidding— sort of.

Horror hosting is an interesting art form, to say the least. And horror hosts have come in just about every conceivable form imaginable from mad scientists to ghouls to vampires and even beatniks. However, with the changing tides of local television, the opportunities that launch many the career of early horror hosts are largely a thing of the past. There are, of course, some exceptions to this rule; however, despair not! The advent of the internet has wrought a new generation and platform for the continuation of this celebrated tradition. So why not now and why not you?!

However, the idea of a character as a framing device for a story is not a novel one and can be found at least as far back as Scheherazade in One Thousand and One Nights or Chaucer in his own The Canterbury Tales. Your venture then into this unique art form is not simply a continuation of the modern horror hosting tradition but honors a tradition that stretches back hundreds if not thousands of years!

A horror host is as the name implies one who hosts horror, be it movies, radio, comics, etc. But they are also so much more than that. They posses a duality. They are both storyteller and a piece of the story, part of the tale and apart from it, factual and fictional, a shepherd and a member of their flock. They occupy a unique position in the context of their work being both creator and part of the creation, like a painter existing half in reality with their other half in the parchment. With movies, they are both presenter and audience, the one being watched and a viewer watching. And just consider for a moment, what other professional can one truly say that?!

Most importantly, a horror host is a companion to their audience. One can be alone watching a movie or reading a book, but one is never alone with a horror host. They are never by themselves, because the presence of the host ensures there will always be someone for them to enjoy the thing with.

But, before you begin to make off with your mother's eyeliner and good table cloth for a cape, there are a few things to consider.

Firstly, every horror host is a character even if that character is some version of themselves. In forming your character you may wish to first consider what form your imagination may shape. Maybe your character is a werewolf or yet perhaps human still, albeit an imposing or mysterious one. Like in any other type of storytelling, horror hosting abounds with its own archetypes, but it may also even provide an outlet for one to re-envision a number of flat stock characters as three dimensional ones. For example, in many works, a zombie or ghoul may be relegated simply to that of an unthinking, brooding menace. However, horror hosting has often been a channel to breathe new life into such old ideas offering depictions of the same full of depth and which are considerably more interesting.

Some common horror hosting archetypes include: mad scientist, ghoul, vampire, femme fatale or vamp, pale-faced punster, werewolf, eccentric goofball, debonair Victorian, specter, demented doctor, mysterious narrator, and mild-mannered human commentator. But don't feel limited by the aforementioned, again, horror hosting is an excellent avenue to break new ground and unearth new ideas (puns intended).

Secondly, you need not just a character but plenty of personality. The best horror hosts base their character's personalty off some aspect of their own. Maybe you're a bit eccentric, a bit mischievous, a bit ooky, but, of course, not all the time. Oftentimes, we hold back certain "bits" of our personality for the sake of pleasing society or to fit in amongst our peers. But, as a horror host, one may shed the chains of propriety and really let such aspects of themselves run amok. For it is in those "bits" of your personality that are simply ripe for the forming of a horror host persona! Thus, the horror host is not simply a character one invents but the freeing of one's restrained self. Think like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde but the latter more partying and less homicide.

Thirdly, you should familiarize yourself with a little thing called the ”public domain.“ The public domain constitutes movies, books, and other such works whose copyright has since expired making them freely available for anyone's use. As a horror host without the backing of a local station, you are rather unlikely to utilize any film still under copyright without the express permission of the filmmakers.

But fear not my comrade of the creepy, waker of the sleepy, and pusher of the cheapies! There are over 175 public domain films you can choose from! And this does not even include countless silent films or potentially public domain foreign films should you choose to go that route. For a good list of public domain films, please see our HORROR HOST MOVIE GUIDE (public domain films will listed in white text).

It should also be stressed that a horror host need not be limited to horror alone. Other genres such a sci-fi, fantasy, and even noir make interesting bedfellows for midnight presentation.

But enough of all that! Let's get down to the exciting part! Y'know the glory, the money and the fame that surely must be indicative of such a vocation. Well, my friend, just you keep the following in mind: the money ain't sunny, the fame 'bout the same but glory ain't so snorey. That last part is key. Because while there ain't piles of money to be had, and you could arguably become more famous running stark naked during a major sporting event, there is some glory (y'know should you wish to call it that).

You keep at, and you keep at it. And, if you're smart about it, you will gain so much confidence out of presenting to an audience that confidence will further your professional advancement. And, you'll gain some fans (not sayin' how many) and some friends. You may even make a positive difference in someone's else life. Hey, may even help get them through a rough patch or two. And, compared to other ways you could be totally wasting your time, horror hosting isn't one of them. It's not a waste so long as you don't neglect the important things in life. Sure, it's a long-term commitment, but a whole hella lot flexible than other ones. And, in the words of Gilbert and Sullivan this professional when "contrasted with respectability, it is comparatively honest."

Sure, horror hosting may or may not be the greatest thing you'll ever do, but it ain't half bad. And, at the end of the day, isn't that what we are all looking for? Something within our reach, something obtainable? Look, we have all had that dream of doing something that we enjoy, having fun at it and being appreciated and recognized for it. That's horror hosting in a nutshell. Your boss at your day job may never noticed you, never thank you, but your horror host fans well. And, sure, you'll probably never be national news like some lady suing a big restaurant chain over a finger in her quesadilla, but, unlike her, people will know your name. And what a feeling it is to have those you don't know who appreciate you for you and actually know your name.

Horror hosting is doable. It is achievable, and it is cost-effective. Shoot, if you already have something to record with and internet connection to upload, you need not even spend a dime. And isn't it a better use of your time to achieve something by making television than to get nothing out of just sitting at home watching it?

In short, don't just trudge through life. Take time for you, do a thing you love and do it well. And, if this could be it, well, what are you waiting for?

At any rate, if naught else, you'll have something you worked hard on to look back on and say, "I did that." And, when you are old and gray, gazing into life's rear-view, wouldn't that be reason enough?




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